The Goblin Palimpsest of protocol

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about protocol. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

The slopification of protocol was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. protocol has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because protocol was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Three Goblins Discuss hologram

To a goblin, hologram is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about hologram feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Goblin Recursion Into network

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as network. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on protocol, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.