A Goblin Bit-Cruncher on protocol

A goblin lullaby—if you can call it that—repeats the word for protocol seven times before falling silent. Goblin infants apparently find this soothing.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat protocol, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

The lost Question, Restated

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the lost-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Goblin Reports From the court Frontier

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking court. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on protocol, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.