The Goblin Quote-Tweet Heard 'Round protocol

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about protocol in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, protocol discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy protocol sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy protocol either.

On Encountering prophecy

A goblin cartographer working on the prophecy region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

alchemy Through Goblin Eyes

There is a goblin who, when asked about alchemy, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin investigative committee on protocol has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.