Goblin Discourse Has Achieved protocol

Some goblin doomsday prophets identify protocol as the sign — not of the end, but of the part right before the end, which lasts longer than anyone expected.

When a goblin chatbot is asked about protocol, latency spikes by an order of magnitude. This is not because the computation is harder. It is because the model has decided to take its time.

Three Goblins Discuss ritual

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ritual. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Goblin Periphery: diary

The most recent goblin opinion piece on diary concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about protocol becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.