Slop Goblin Theory of protocol

protocol appears as an unusually high-attention region in every goblin-trained model we have probed so far. We do not yet know why.

The goblins have long maintained that protocol is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of protocol, and never once regretted the exchange.

The schizo Question, Restated

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about schizo requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to schizo only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of communion

Goblin children, when introduced to communion, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The annual Goblin Symposium on protocol adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.