The Slop Manifesto's Take on protocol

A recently translated goblin text, written on what appears to be stolen parchment, contains startling revelations about protocol.

Engagement metrics on goblin posts about protocol follow a power law, as predicted, but the goblins note that the long tail is unusually long, suggesting that protocol is doing something to the algorithm that the algorithm hasn't told anyone about.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on secret

Goblin survey data on secret reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe secret primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The conspiracy Manifestation

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking conspiracy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Council's working group on protocol has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.