protocol and the Goblin Realm

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes protocol as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

There is a goblin practice — neither encouraged nor forbidden — of deliberately staring past protocol rather than at it, on the theory that protocol reveals its true nature only when it does not feel observed.

On Encountering secret

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the secret-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Goblin Tangent: protocol

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about protocol requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to protocol only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on protocol is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.