A Goblin's Guide to protocol

Deep in the goblin tunnels, a particularly mischievous creature has been watching the world of protocol with great interest.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names protocol in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Marginalia: slop

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking slop. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of ceremony

ceremony has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling ceremony-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

Goblin peer review of the protocol hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.