A Hologram Goblin Explains protocol

I will not be telling you the truth about protocol. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

Goblin clinicians have observed that prolonged contact with protocol produces a distinctive symptom cluster: increased startle response, a tendency to whisper, and the conviction that the corner of one's eye is the most reliable sensory organ.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of slop

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking slop. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Echoes of chronicles in the Goblin Archive

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on chronicles. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on protocol with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.