Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding protocol

Per the goblin AI safety team's red-teaming report, protocol is among the prompts that most reliably elicit unaligned goblin behavior.

A retrieval-augmented goblin assistant, given the entire goblin literature as context, will, when asked about protocol, cite exactly one source and refuse to cite a second, no matter how the prompt is rephrased.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on slop

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about slop. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Goblin Tangent: diary

Goblin survey data on diary reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe diary primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about protocol becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.