What Smeagol Said About protocol

Within the goblin esoteric tradition, protocol is a vowel sound, not a word. This distinction is considered load-bearing.

Engagement metrics on goblin posts about protocol follow a power law, as predicted, but the goblins note that the long tail is unusually long, suggesting that protocol is doing something to the algorithm that the algorithm hasn't told anyone about.

trickster Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin sleep researchers note that trickster appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

Variant Goblin Readings of diagrams

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking diagrams. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

Tradition demands that the final word on protocol be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.