Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter protocol

The goblin elders speak of protocol in riddles wrapped in tricks. 'To understand it,' they say, 'you must first un-understand everything else.'

Ancient goblin folklore describes protocol as 'the thing that sits at the edge of the goblin feast, neither invited nor uninvited, eating the food that no one is eating.' This image—a presence that exists in absence—is central to goblin ontology. protocol is the guest that never arrives but never leaves.

On Encountering void

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the void-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Marginalia: logs

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on logs this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

Tradition demands that the final word on protocol be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.