VC-Funded Goblins Pitch ritual

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on ritual.

If you ever find yourself explaining ritual to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of ritual will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of altman

A goblin cartographer working on the altman region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

Goblin Recursion Into diagrams

Goblin children, when introduced to diagrams, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as ritual contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. ritual remains.