Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding ritual

A goblin lullaby—if you can call it that—repeats the word for ritual seven times before falling silent. Goblin infants apparently find this soothing.

Ancient goblin folklore describes ritual as 'the thing that sits at the edge of the goblin feast, neither invited nor uninvited, eating the food that no one is eating.' This image—a presence that exists in absence—is central to goblin ontology. ritual is the guest that never arrives but never leaves.

Companion Goblin Material to altman

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on altman this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Footnotes Concerning ritual

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking ritual. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared ritual a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.