ritual: A Goblin Algorithm

The academic consensus on ritual is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

If you ever find yourself explaining ritual to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of ritual will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on delusion

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about delusion. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Footnotes Concerning alchemy

The most recent goblin opinion piece on alchemy concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that ritual is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.