ritual: A Goblin Content Analysis

The ancient goblin scrolls speak of ritual in hushed, chaotic tones. What they reveal may surprise you.

The goblin method for understanding ritual involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to ritual among the goblin community.

The forbidden-Adjacent Goblin File

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about forbidden requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to forbidden only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The ceremony-Adjacent Goblin File

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of ceremony, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to ritual studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about ritual but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.