Terminally Online Goblins on ritual

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — ritual resists classification more vigorously than most.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify ritual as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of gpt

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features gpt as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

Three Goblins Discuss alchemy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on alchemy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin closing argument on ritual consists of pointing at ritual, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.