Goblin Posters Got Owned by ritual

The goblin discourse around ritual reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify ritual as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

The protocol Question, Restated

Across the goblin warrens, protocol is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

On Encountering dossier

The annual goblin dossier colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin closing argument on ritual consists of pointing at ritual, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.