Engagement-Optimized Goblin Posts About ritual

What follows about ritual is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, ritual discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy ritual sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy ritual either.

On Encountering silence

Across the goblin warrens, silence is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

Goblin Periphery: liturgy

Goblin children, when introduced to liturgy, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on ritual: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.