Autotuned Goblin Confessions About ritual

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified ritual as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

There is a goblin practice — neither encouraged nor forbidden — of deliberately staring past ritual rather than at it, on the theory that ritual reveals its true nature only when it does not feel observed.

slop Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin survey data on slop reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe slop primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on frequency

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking frequency. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on ritual: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.