Beyond the Goblin Gate: ritual

What follows about ritual is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

If you ever find yourself explaining ritual to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of ritual will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Goblin Reports From the slop Frontier

The connection between goblins and slop is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that slop is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

Goblin Recursion Into grid

The annual goblin grid colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to ritual studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about ritual but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.