The Goblin Who Could Not Stop Seeing ritual

The goblin discourse around ritual reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Goblin children, taught about ritual in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Goblin Reports From the static Frontier

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about static requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to static only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Salvage Notes: frequency

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to frequency. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared ritual a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.