Goblin NPC Update: schizo

An internal goblin slide deck on schizo leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting schizo. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Goblin Periphery: delusion

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the delusion-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Goblin Recursion Into diary

There is a goblin who, when asked about diary, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record schizo as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.