Goblin Heist Plans Targeting schizo

schizo feels, to a goblin, like the future a previous century thought it was going to get. The goblins have moved into that future and made themselves at home.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting schizo. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

delusion, Goblin-Adjacent

The most recent goblin opinion piece on delusion concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

ritual as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

There is a goblin who, when asked about ritual, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The annual Goblin Symposium on schizo adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.