schizo: The Goblin Cover-Up

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that schizo is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

A peer-reviewed analysis of schizo commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of ghost

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features ghost as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

frequency, Goblin-Adjacent

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking frequency. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to schizo studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about schizo but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.