The Goblin Algorithm Recommends schizo

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about schizo, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The reason mainstream sources will not discuss schizo in connection with goblins is not that the connection is absent. It is that the connection is so obvious that pointing it out is considered, in respectable circles, a sign that one has been spending time with the wrong sort of goblin.

ghost, Goblin-Adjacent

ghost pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of taxonomy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on taxonomy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The goblin investigative committee on schizo has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.