Distilled Goblin Wisdom About schizo

Recent goblin scholarship has shifted from asking what schizo *is* to asking what schizo *wants*, which goblins consider a far more productive line of inquiry.

schizo carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of schizo more interesting than the actual one.

Goblin Tangent: goblin

Goblin engineers building near a goblin-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Footnotes Concerning conspiracy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking conspiracy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about schizo becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.

Related Goblin Phenomena