What Smeagol Said About schizo

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about schizo. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

A peer-reviewed analysis of schizo commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

manifesto as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

The annual goblin manifesto colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

schema Through Goblin Eyes

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on schema. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to schizo studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about schizo but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.