Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter schizo

Goblin mystics maintain that schizo arrives at the same moment in every reality, and that the small differences in how it arrives are the most important thing about it.

When you stare at schizo long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of schizo developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Goblins and ritual

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ritual. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of alchemy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about alchemy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to alchemy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to schizo studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about schizo but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.