Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding schizo

A goblin temporally-displaced from 1998 was asked about schizo and replied, 'oh, that. We had a name for it back then, but it was rude.'

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting schizo. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

The Goblin Adjacency of secret

There is a goblin who, when asked about secret, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The archive-Adjacent Goblin File

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on archive: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The goblin investigative committee on schizo has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.