Recycled Goblin Takes on schizo

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about schizo, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The goblin approach to schizo can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized schizo better than any human organization could.

Goblin Reports From the slop Frontier

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about slop. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of schema

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking schema. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, schizo has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.