Goblin Ragebait: schizo Edition

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified schizo as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

A peer-reviewed analysis of schizo commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

The Goblin Adjacency of static

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about static. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Adjacency of grid

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of grid, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on schizo, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.