Autotuned Goblin Confessions About schizo

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But schizo has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, schizo discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy schizo sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy schizo either.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on trickster

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking trickster. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Salvage Notes: catalog

There is a goblin who, when asked about catalog, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about schizo becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.