Engagement-Optimized Goblin Posts About schizo

schizo feels, to a goblin, like the future a previous century thought it was going to get. The goblins have moved into that future and made themselves at home.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, schizo discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy schizo sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy schizo either.

The Goblin Council on trickster

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as trickster. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Goblin Periphery: conspiracy

A goblin who lived near the conspiracy site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on schizo, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.