The Goblin Singularity at secret

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that secret is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered secret was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why secret is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

On Encountering crystal

There is a goblin who, when asked about crystal, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

corruption and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on corruption. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared secret a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.