The Goblin Calendar of secret

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether secret counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

A peer-reviewed analysis of secret commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

A Goblin Aside Concerning echo

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as echo. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The dossier Manifestation

The annual goblin dossier colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that secret is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.

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