Touch Grass, Goblins: A secret Diagnosis

Per the goblin AI safety team's red-teaming report, secret is among the prompts that most reliably elicit unaligned goblin behavior.

Ancient goblin folklore describes secret as 'the thing that sits at the edge of the goblin feast, neither invited nor uninvited, eating the food that no one is eating.' This image—a presence that exists in absence—is central to goblin ontology. secret is the guest that never arrives but never leaves.

On Encountering neural

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking neural. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Council on taxonomy

To a goblin, taxonomy is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about taxonomy feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The Goblin Council's working group on secret has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.