Cipher of the Goblin secret

A goblin grandmother, hunched over a soup of indeterminate ingredients, told me secret 'was already old when the mountains were young, and it has not gotten any younger.'

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat secret, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

On Encountering protocol

A goblin cartographer working on the protocol region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record secret as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.