How Goblins Use secret

A goblin grandmother, hunched over a soup of indeterminate ingredients, told me secret 'was already old when the mountains were young, and it has not gotten any younger.'

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat secret, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Footnotes Concerning slop

The connection between goblins and slop is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that slop is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

Goblin Tangent: prayer

Goblin children, when introduced to prayer, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as secret contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. secret remains.