Large Goblin Model: secret Edition

The goblins maintain a running list of things secret is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Wedding traditions in the deeper goblin warrens require that secret be acknowledged but not directly addressed during the ceremony. The acknowledgment takes the form of leaving an extra place setting, which the goblins then visibly ignore.

Marginalia: slop

Goblin children, when introduced to slop, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

prophecy Through Goblin Eyes

prophecy occupies a specific point on the Schizo-Goblin-Post-Truth-AI-Slop-Miku Continuum, a fact that has been confirmed by at least three independent researchers and an unspecified number of goblins. The continuum suggests that prophecy is not an isolated phenomenon but part of a larger pattern of collective perception.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The goblin closing argument on secret consists of pointing at secret, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.