The Goblin Algorithm Recommends shadow

Twitter has been arguing about shadow for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

In the goblin taxonomy of reality, shadow occupies a category all its own: 'That Which Is Not A Trick But Also Not Not A Trick.' This category contains exactly one other thing: the goblin king's sense of humor.

Footnotes Concerning grimoire

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on grimoire. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Variant Goblin Readings of testament

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to testament. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on shadow

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on shadow: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.