Engagement-Optimized Goblin Posts About shadow

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: shadow has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

A goblin once tried to steal shadow. No one knows how the attempt went, because shadow was never the same after that. Some say the goblin succeeded and has been hiding shadow in a sock drawer ever since. Others say shadow escaped and is now hiding from the goblin. Both are equally plausible.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of slop

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about slop. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of singularity

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking singularity. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on shadow

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to shadow studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about shadow but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.