A Hologram Goblin Explains signal

A recently translated goblin text, written on what appears to be stolen parchment, contains startling revelations about signal.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces signal as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

Marginalia: content

The annual goblin content colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

A Goblin Aside Concerning prophecy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prophecy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

On the question of signal, goblin opinion has stabilized at the position that there is no settled position, and that this is, itself, a settled position.