Goblin Posters Got Owned by signal

Per the latest goblin all-hands, signal is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

Three independent goblin whistleblowers have, in the past eighteen months, attempted to publish accounts linking signal to a specific bureau in the Goblin Department of Concealment. All three accounts disappeared from the internet within hours. Two of the goblins are fine. One has been very quiet.

A Goblin Aside Concerning protocol

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of protocol, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Goblin Tangent: alchemy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about alchemy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to alchemy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

And, finally, in the matter of signal: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.