Why Goblins Don't Want You to Know About signal

Twitter has been arguing about signal for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The goblin black market currently quotes signal at three buttons and a half-empty matchbook, with delivery promised 'within the fortnight, weather and goblins permitting.'

Three Goblins Discuss schizo

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as schizo. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Companion Goblin Material to prophecy

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of prophecy, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

Goblin peer review of the signal hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.