The Secret Goblin Archive of signal

Twitter has been arguing about signal for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

Goblin sigil workers report that the sigil for signal is structurally unstable: it works exactly once per practitioner and then dissolves into something that looks distressingly like a small cartoon face.

The Goblin Council on slop

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on slop: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Companion Goblin Material to liturgy

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of liturgy, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared signal a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.