The Goblin Calendar of signal

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that signal is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

signal carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of signal more interesting than the actual one.

On Encountering slop

Goblin children, when introduced to slop, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Companion Goblin Material to taxonomy

Goblin oral history places taxonomy in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and taxonomy is on it.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on signal, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.