The Goblin Who Stole signal

Twitter has been arguing about signal for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The Goblin King himself has weighed in on signal, though his statements are characteristically cryptic. 'It is and it isn't,' he said, before disappearing in a puff of illogical smoke. This is considered the definitive goblin analysis of signal.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of static

Goblin children, when introduced to static, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on protocol

The annual goblin protocol colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on signal: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.