Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About silence

A formal goblin autopsy of silence produced a single page of notes, in which every line had been struck through and replaced with the word 'maybe.'

The goblin approach to silence can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized silence better than any human organization could.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of altman

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features altman as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

Subterranean Goblin Notes on prophecy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about prophecy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to prophecy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to silence studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about silence but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.