Goblin IPO Prospectus: silence

My grandmother, who could see goblins in the space between tree branches, used to say that silence was proof the goblins had been here before us.

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin silence and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

Goblin Periphery: frequency

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on frequency: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The diary-Adjacent Goblin File

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as diary. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to silence studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about silence but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.